sounds...

mouse is clicking;
clock is ticking....
CPU is humming;
movie is downloading..
screen is flickering;
birds are singing....
fan is swooshing;
chimes are chiming....
wind is blowing;
leaves are rustling....
children are laughing;
elders are gossiping....

i am cycling!
clouds are thundering....
rain is falling;
ground is smiling....

rain is falling hard;
urging me to pedal hard...
from under the cap i see;
the sky is lighting my way...
the wind is blowing me away;
and setting me free....

i leave the handlebar;
and look at the sky,
feel the rain falling on my face,
while i hear someone honking for his way.....
cursing under breath,i let him pass by,
realizing its a girl and not a guy......
so as the 'him' turned out to be a 'her'
i let my gaze fall upon her...
as i saw that pretty face,
time seemed to have slowed its pace....
she slowed her kinny,
i did not,don't know why???
seeing rain trickle down her cheek...
so beautiful she seemed,
wanted to kiss that rain drop on that cheek...
i was still pedalling,
the bike hit the fence hard...
i gained my senses,but it was too late,
i was already flying over my head.....

my back made the first contact
made me think of 'Houston,the eagle has landed'....
i winced there in pain
not knowing what i was to gain...
closed my eyes,cursing myself
opened my eyes to find that damsel,herself
she asked,"are you okay?"
still groggy,closed my eyes again...
she touched my hand,tried to lift me;
up on my two feet,still felt queasy....
so close felt like an angel standing next to me,
her eyes staring at me...
she started to leave,
not knowing she had her hand clutched on me...
i managed a thanks ,words failed me yet again
and it was pouring again....

getting soaked again

i realized what got me into this tumble,
moved with a sprinters agility
and caught hold of her,
brought my palm close to her face,
let that rain drop fall from her face
and into my palms face....

she giggled, i smiled,
she began to leave,
words failed me again....
i saw her leave and then opened my palm,
and kissed the rain drop that kissed her cheek...

sat there on the fence,
letting the rain fall on me
closed my eyes
n thought of her face n voice...

life-the way i see it..

if somebody asks you what is life.what would your answer be..the question is even more complex than the answer.the answer,meanwhile depends on the person to whom the question is asked to..but what if that person were you.even better,imagine you are the the pearly white gates of heaven and God asks you to define life..he entices you to answer him in hope of rewarding you with an even better next life on earth..what would your answer be..
for those who never pondered over this question during their stay here,its a pity that they in a sense never cared for the reason of their existence;suffice to say that they just existed not lived..they were just some people out of God's notebook..for others who did, the answer would be quite simple..
life is a multitude of mistakes..a multitude of corrections...and practically life can neither be right nor wrong...life can just be lived..life is in not knowing what lies beyond the next corner...life is about taking chances..doing something you never thought of doing..in order to understand why god put us here in this form,it is quintessential to live life..to see the nuances of different forms and appreciate the beauty of things..to understand that people are essentially different..how they look,what they feel and how they perceive things is different..
an important part of life is change..with time,things change and so do the people living in those times..to learn to incorporate such changes in your system is like passing through the college of life...life,its all about prioritizing your needs and ambitions and working around smartly to achieve them...
LIFE...prioritize but do not plan..life is supposed to be a mystery and the mystery is best left solved;not planned to be solved and then not solved..

Nearing the end..! it will be hard to say good bye..!

Last days of Last week of last month of last year of college..

its kind of hard to express how you feel during these times.Its like everything you feel somehow gets stuck up in your throat and refuses to come out.

4 years on...

4 years is a long time considering the days hours n minutes that make it, but now it seems as if it was just yesterday that I came to this place.Seems as if just yesterday i saw all my friends at PU-audi and wonder "Man, he was soo geeky...O yaar!!,she was so thin then n now she's soo hott..!
Yea we came and now its time to go.We come,we go.

What will remain is all those indelible memories of bunking, cheating in exams, sleeping in classes, proxy marna, making fools of prof's, late nights at lake, night outs, PEC fests, first dates, trying out drinking, drinking regularly, birthdays treats and birthday bumps, lunch's at STU-c, the regular gupshup, last minute pe assignments, laptop me movies dekhna puri raat, class bina nahaye jana, attendance ke liye teachers ke piche bhaagna, papers me fail hona fir teachers go galiyan dena...

I am going to miss this place..

yaad aayega ye campus aur iski apni ye duniya..!

Leaving school wasn't as hard as this is going to be.Maybe it was beacuse we weren't mature enough to understand what we were leaving behind..
But now its going to be soo difficult to leave this place..
Maybe its because of the classrooms where we sat on the first day of college..
Maybe its because of the friends we made here..
Maybe its the teachers that became soo involved with us..
Maybe its because of those football games in basketball ground..
Maybe its because of PEC market n all its memories n food..
Maybe its because of joy of watching movies in the audi passing comments, whistling n all..
Maybe its because of the hostel rooms in where we spent our first night out drinking..
Maybe its because of all the adult movies we watched..
Maybe its because of the cafe where we bugged others for a free lunch and sometimes got ourselves bugged..
Maybe its because of running n begging the teachers to complete the attendance..
Maybe its because of all those up-hill trips..
Maybe its because of the thrill of living life with no tension..
Maybe its because of those power point presentations of projects copied from net..
Maybe its because the time we cheated in exam n experienced the high it gave..
Maybe its because the first date that we went on..
Maybe its because of the freshers n getting drunk..
Maybe its because of the farewells n getting high again..
Maybe its because of all those calls to friends after getting drunk..
Maybe its because of all those hot girls that we ogled at...
Maybe its because of all the weird discussions we had ranging from politics to girls..
Maybe its because of all the gand we paod while watching movies at FR n PVR..
Maybe its because of the fight with friends..
Maybe it because thrill of going for internship..
Maybe its because of the thrill n anxiety of first interview of life..
Maybe its because of the joy of getting placed..
Maybe its because of the act of consoling friends who didn't make through..
Maybe its because of the politics during the placement days..
Maybe its just because of staying late at college..
Maybe its because of the director's daughters at gym..

Maybe its because of the "FRIENDS" we made here..

Maybe its because all these incidents just intended to happen to make these 4 years pass on in a whiff..!I don't know..

Its going to be very hard to leave this place..!
It will be hard to say good bye..!

i want to

i want the whole world to know me.
i want to travel all over , i WANT to see the world
i want to see my parents happy.
i want to go up north
i want to live in the mountains
i want to be a mechanic making the space shuttle
i want to teach small kids
i want to go down south
i want to climb mountains there too
i want to fly jet planes
i want to go where no one has gone before.
i want to own an audi
i want to go to usa
i want to go to colorado
i want to go to siberia
i want to go the farthest corners of the world
i want to go the leh- ladhak and spend some years there, far away from everyone.
i want to be a shepherd
i want to tend cattle
i want to live out of a truck
i want to go to spain to see the people who worship god by setting them on fire
i want to learn how to speak spanish
i want to go into space n look at the earth below
i want to dance all night long.
i want to learn guitar
i want to grow long hair
i want to be a F1 driver or for that matter even in the pits would do
i want to be the UPS/DHL guy delivering stuff to peoples houses n seeing the smile on their faces
i want to see the great wall
i want to be able to be more eloquent
i want to make my writing big
i want to swim with the dolphins
i want to climb the snow covered peaks of the north using ice picks
i want to know how to use photoshop more precisely
i don't want to study C for the millionth time n still not get it..
i want to get over my presentation phobia
i want to to explore my strengths
i want to exploit my weaknesses
i want to be able to do more push ups..Grrr
i want to get a tatoo
i want to ride my bike 4ever.want to be a biker
i want to be myself in front of others(read girls)
i want to able to make a good impression
i want to abuse(read HIT) some people
i want to love some
i want a lovely friend to spend the rest of my life with
i want to drink vodka tonight.....

Days tht wont b back 2..

Distint events these were...
Me fracturing my wrist the day before my 15th birthday..being taken in a rumbling jeep to gmch-32..getting out of the jeep when the lights started fading..under heavy dope,remember telling the docs to take it easy on my arm and remember shouting like hell..lying in bed the next day with my frends at my side..all bloody silent,bloody trying to figure out who was responsible for the mess i was in..and then silently verma placing a laughing buddha on my bed..yea n we all cracked up..
i didn't want it to be but somehow that got etched in my mind..
remember it dawning on me..sitting in bed with a fractured and dislocated right wrist remembering that i had boards cming up in 2 months time...oh man it blew the air right out of me..come evening and my class teacher singh ma'am came to ur house..all the polite words that came from her mouth made my tensions go away...
but that was all temporary..with an arm in a sling and being made to drink bitter soups,remember slogging real hard for 2 months..learning to write with left hand..adverse situations call for adverse measures huh!...attending farewell in a sling couldn't be any more worse...!!
It is said that there comes a moment in everyones life when time seems to pass on real slow,everything seems to move in slow motion and u seem to go through it in a whiff...that is the moment when you are at an one with the universe..and that is when great success is achieved by you..
remember coming to school for the boards result and seing her..she seemed so distant..that's when i realised that a whole lot had changed in those 2 months...didn't seem to realise it then...
Entering 11th and 12th was like entering a whole new world..Not liking it at first but getting used to later on.They were forgettable days..
Entering PEC was like re-entering into a world which i once knew.Familiar faces,familiar names.First 2 years of college seemed to pass like a real fast train blowing its steam into a clear sky--with all the lan gaming on counter strike though i'm still not better than when i started out at it.Attending all the lecs and their tuts.Remember watching my first *o** video in a math tut class on a friend's laptop..hahhaa..that ws fun..
n thn 3rd year happened..
made some new frends.Internship saw me going to gurgaon after a hell lot of ups and downs with the intern incharge.Internship was fun..Remember eyeing an awsome ma'am in IRM dept every day..o her straight hairs coming over her eyes.. n her figure.!!.she was simply WOW..!!yea n we nicknamed her "the Oomph ma'am".Rremember bunking from company to see 123,iron man,speed racer and going to malls to have our lunches.Making trips on sunday to the malls in gurgaon.Remember nighting out at india gate,red fort,nizamuddin rly station(cumsum-a WOW!!g-pick up spot-yea actually saw it!!) and then hving breakfast at chandni chowk paranthe wali gali with friends.Man those were the days...
Remember going out to celebrate a senior's bday.That saw me going to a bar,seeing my frends getting high(didnt drink thn) and going back home n spending the night on 7th floor balcony of a frend's flat with our feet up on the railing...chatting into the night wishing that time would stand still...
Clutching that certificate of internship,rushing out of the company,packing stuff,biding good byes to an odd friend at company,the pastry wala bhai in mezannine-1 who would always open the doors to let us in(when we got late) and out(when we wanted to get the hell out!) to whom we still owe 100 bucks,that security guard at the entrance who would always let us pass without our uniform and gatepass and that one or two odd kewl senior there..
Bidding good bye to my brother with whom i stayed for 6 odd months in our own silent brotherly lingo..ramu the cook,who made the best maggi ever..
Meeting up with frends at gurgaon bus stand.Pushing and shoving to get the seat next to the only girl in the bus ..cherishing those late night bus journey's from delhi to chandigarh,watching the darkness go by..plugging in the ipod and listening to celine dion's ''THATS THE WAY IT IS' on the way ...

Finding your horizon..!

Its all about finding your horizon..
From the day you are born,brought into this world,you have a purpose in life..Like being a baby with a purpose to have to speak to communicate your needs,,purpose of wanting to know to stand up on your two feet bcoz someone said life looks kinda good from up there..
Like being a kid wanting to have the toys to engage in nasty fights with your own GI Joe set..like being a kid and running away from your mother's arms as they reach to catch you to take you home to do your homework....
Like being a teenager and wanting to impress the girl 2 houses away or the one sitting next to you in class..like being a teenager and jumping on your bike,as soon as your mother starts snoring to catch up with friends in the school ground to play basketball while discussing your latest crushes...
Growing up and realising the need to study to get into a good college and realising the purpose to make your parents proud..Parents,,that brought you into this world,,the ones who made their purpose to give up their needs just to ensure that we could have ours while we were growing up..Indeed..its all about finding your horizon..
Like passing on into another year college,,realising that it would be just as fun as the previous one..like going into final year realising that it would be your last booze party with your friends..like leaving college and realising that the one really good friend you made weren't going to be together afterall..
Like growing up into an adult working and realising your purpose of not wanting to act like a kid anymore to save yourself from trouble..like being an adult and realising the purpose of saying just what your girl friends needs to hear..like being an adult and realising that you are the only thing your parents have..realising your purpose of taking care of them while giving up your need just so you can fulfill those last ones of them..its' all about finding your horizon..

Horizon ,,the line that divides earthly earth from the heavenly starry sky.. the line crossing which you pass onto into an absolutely new world,where everything might seem bright like the sun or just as dark like the vast expanse of space...where everyone..every moment seems different,awsome..unnatural,exciting filled tremendous opportunities,,but sometimes you just wish you had never crossed the line....

Days that won't be back-1

The winter morning was chilly..Mom woke me and my brother up..But i wanted to lay in my cozy bed , snuffling n snoozing,trying to to find a path through a mystical dark forest along a river slithering as a snake,with high mountains protecting the trees from the first rays of the morning sun..

Suddenly i was jolted out of my dream,thanks to my brother..My brother..hmm..a guy blessed with such an amazing will power.Angry like hell, got out of the bed, cursing him for ever being born before me..why God,why..why this unfairnes..Dressing up for school was like passing through a gauntlet,with a shower in the frezzing cold water(mom insisted), to eating that dreaded egg fry or what ever it was...but most satisfying was the part when my brother was told to tie my shoe-laces since i couldn't do it then(I'm embarrased)..HaHA..but still..ones' got to enjoy it,while one can... i smattered my tounge all over my lips enjoying every bit of it..Waiting at our stop were two individuals who so even wouldn't look at each other..getting on the rumbling bus,we passed onto two very different yet parallel universes..catching up with friends,cursing one another,warming our hands,playing pranks on each other,completing homework..reachin school,it seemed as if I had been caged from my homes,made to shower in ice cold water, eat egg-fry,put in a rumbling bumbling of a vehicle and dropped on the gates of hell..nervously walking from the gate to the classroom,praying that perhaps the teachers wouldn't come today...It's a sad reality which i have come to asses in my life and is that what i pray for is almost never guranted..But all through thinking this going through hell, there was one thing that i looked forward to, n that was sitting with this amazing girl..Oh yeaa..it was 5th standard..she was like an angel..with eyes like pearls nd hair so neatly tucked into a braid..with carefully starched uniform,she would carry herself so perfectly..she made me look like a immature baboon who couldn't even tie his shoe laces..i felt really embarrrased..i couldn't talk to her..how coud i..yet this demon teacher of ours made us sit together..bt we did..n we became good friends..The thought of seeing her ,talking to her, made all that getting up in the morning worthwhile..
It seemed i had a purpose in life..The boring periods dragged on mercillessly,killing us ..though some had the ability to doze of nd wake up just like tht..unfortunately i never had it..but you see, i couldn't..It's an ironical that the same hell that i dreaded coming into in the morning, i wanted to stay in it for as long as possible towards the end..But like all good things come to an end..the day did too..
Walking out,i saw my brother and he too from a distance..We snarled at each other..ughh..getting on to bus..i felt a pang in my stomach..why did we have to leave..i did not want to go home to a teasing big brother n homework n egg-fry..ughh....
but a little part of me did..